Blog: Taking the Next Step

Jackie Harder, Coaching, Training and Consulting

Taking the Next Step

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Coaching blog: Taking the Next Step

How to get unstuck

Posted by Jackie Harder on Tue, Jul 23, 2013 @ 08:06 AM

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Are you stuck? Here are a few clues:

  1. You’re not actively unhappy, but you’re not really happy either. 
  2. You can’t remember the last time you felt joyful. 
  3. You feel a vague sense of dissatisfaction about almost everything.
  4. You feel like you’re waiting for something to happen. 
  5. You feel like you should be doing something. 
  6. You feel something is missing from your life.  
  7. You’re sick and tired. 
  8. You’re sick and tired – of being sick and tired. 
  9. You feel a little guilty; you have a job, a roof over your head, you can pay your bills (barely, but still…), your family and health are fine – life isn’t horrible, so what’s your beef? 

Even one of these symptoms can be an indication of being stuck. Two or more mean you’ve got a great opportunity to get what you want out of life.

So how do you get unstuck? The willingness to make substantial change is absolutely vital. Without willingness, there is no chance of success. And the motivation for change has to come from within.

Why do you want what you want?

You have to want to change for your own reasons, not because of something imposed from the outside by someone else. That’s why it’s important to find out what you really want. Once you know what you really want, you’ll have the motivation to make the necessary changes, which will make the process so much easier.

How do you figure out what you really want? Determine what one thing would make a huge difference in your life if you had it. What goal or outcome are you pining for? What are you really, really ready to achieve?

After you’ve identified that one thing – love, money, whatever – keep digging. Why do you want love? What is it about money that puts it at the top of your list?

Keep asking yourself “why do I want this” until you’ve reached the underlying reason. Here’s a hint: It will be because of the way it makes you feel. It is the desire to feel a certain way that will motivate you to move forward to make the changes you need to make to get to where (or who!) you want to be.

What changes do you need to make right away to get that thing you really want, the thing that would make a huge difference in your life if you had it right now?

Do you need to set boundaries with your kids? Do you need more respect (or money or responsibility) from your boss? Do you want to improve your health?

Pick three, any three

Pick three changes, put them in descending order of importance and ask yourself: “How do I go about making these changes?”

The fastest way to doom yourself is to pick some change so big that you overwhelm yourself before you even get started. You need to break down the “bigs” into “littles.” You need to take little steps, successfully, that will add up to the big change you want to make.

And by taking little steps first, you’ll create a track record of success that will motivate you to keep going. Need assistance at any level? The support of a coach can help you move forward.

Where do you feel stuck?

Tags: coaching, being stuck, getting unstuck, feeling stuck

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